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jon, they're indoctrinating our kids, jon. >> our kids! jon: patriot street wouldn't teach kids to share? >> it would simply put that sharing in context. would you share your food with someone? >> yes. but that would create a culture of dependency >> if i have my food i'll give it to them >> you're taking away the motivation to earn that food for themselves >> um-hum did you not read that copy of atlas shrugged i loaned you? ( cheers and applause ) >> after the grouch has been mooching for too long. >> yep. he needs to pull himself up by his own boot straps. >> jon: i don't think oscar the grouch has feet. >> oh, my god. none of us have feet. (screaming) >> jon: we'll be right xngvc@c@ lcome back, everybody. big news. big news. the new unemployment numbers are in. the new unemployment numbers are in >> the dramatic drop in the unemployment rate from 8.1% to 7.8% >> jon: oh, mid go. 8.1 to 7.8. the skies above are partly cloudy. so, lowest jobless number in nearly four years. seems like we're moving in the right direction or to put that ano
jon, they're indoctrinating our kids, jon. >> our kids! jon: patriot street wouldn't teach kids to share? >> it would simply put that sharing in context. would you share your food with someone? >> yes. but that would create a culture of dependency >> if i have my food i'll give it to them >> you're taking away the motivation to earn that food for themselves >> um-hum did you not read that copy of atlas shrugged i loaned you? ( cheers and applause ) >>...
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Oct 23, 2012
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my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. tonight's guest, my friend dl hughley will be joining us, but first, last night, night of too many stars. thanks to everybody for watching and donating. a great night. you see that beautiful set for "night of too many stars"? can we show that? that beautiful set was here. it was here. do you see, where i'm sitting right now? last night in this room. now it's not here. do you want to know why it's not here? because "the daily show" crew are [bleeped] set elves. they are magic. they worked all night long to make this happen. give these people a round of applause. [cheering and applause] unbelievable. anyway, it's been a big week. on thursday we had on the president of the united states. what happened was, and this is the truth, goldie hawn had been scheduled. [laughter] a last-minute conflict. so since the president was already in town for a previously scheduled traffic logjam, he stopped by for a 12-minute, you know, [bleeped], featuring all the standards, solid biden in a wet bathing
my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. tonight's guest, my friend dl hughley will be joining us, but first, last night, night of too many stars. thanks to everybody for watching and donating. a great night. you see that beautiful set for "night of too many stars"? can we show that? that beautiful set was here. it was here. do you see, where i'm sitting right now? last night in this room. now it's not here. do you want to know why it's not here? because "the daily...
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Oct 12, 2012
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>> um, -- >> jon: i'll leave. >> [ laughter ] >> i hire good ones. >> jon: that helps. >> that helps and i try to do as much as i can in the writing and then try to listen to them and see how they feel about things give them room to do it. >> >> jon: in a scene after a take will you -- cut, walk out and be like -- you know that kind of thing? is there on set do you get maniacal. what is your temperament? >> pretty -- i don't know -- >> jon: you seem angry, you seem like an angry guy. >> i try to play it pretty cool. when you are a writer you can get mad at yourself in a room and bang your head against the wall. when you are a director you you have to pretend you didn't do that stuff and be cool and be everybody's boss. so -- >> joe: do you complete the writing process in your mind and then become the director or as you are writing are you -- you know, i find it's very difficult to -- the difference between writing for the page and writing for the performance is a different art form. do you do that as you are writing or transition that? >> when i write, when it's at its best whrveg it
>> um, -- >> jon: i'll leave. >> [ laughter ] >> i hire good ones. >> jon: that helps. >> that helps and i try to do as much as i can in the writing and then try to listen to them and see how they feel about things give them room to do it. >> >> jon: in a scene after a take will you -- cut, walk out and be like -- you know that kind of thing? is there on set do you get maniacal. what is your temperament? >> pretty -- i don't know -- >>...
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Oct 31, 2012
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my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, the house democratic minority leader nancy pelosi will be joining us tonight. maybe we'll talk about the election! maybe we'll fwaukt selection, which you may have heard is happening, 12 days from now in the great state of ohio. (laughter) i'm not sure if any other states are voting this year, but candidates are beginning to make their closing arguments. and if i could frame them through lyrics and music of the great britney spears, barack obama is saying to the electorate, hit me baby, one more time. (laughter) whereas mitt romney is perhaps suggesting, i'm a genie in a bottle. (laughter) really, they're not sung by the same person, are you sure? no, they are sung by the wonders that judge on the talent show. there's two music talent shows? i have got to get myself a zune. (laughter) what are we talking about? oh, yeah, mitt romney's closing arguments. >> the government of the united states is not a good venture capitalists, he likes to pick winners and losers, abo
my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, the house democratic minority leader nancy pelosi will be joining us tonight. maybe we'll talk about the election! maybe we'll fwaukt selection, which you may have heard is happening, 12 days from now in the great state of ohio. (laughter) i'm not sure if any other states are voting this year, but candidates are beginning to make their closing arguments. and if i could frame them through lyrics and music of the great britney spears, barack obama is...
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, jon. we're done rapping and jamming. >> it's all good. >> jon: all right. hey, i think it's informative when we can discuss these things with panel of people directly affected by them. how do you think people will be seen by people who read the drudge report? >> i don't know, run it through the old drudgey cam. >> jon: right, the lens we filter all their information through. can you cue that up. >> we're in your front yard and we're still mad about slavery. >> yeah, we're going to buy crack with the food stamps you're paying for. >> and then we're going the rape your white babies. >> hey, whoa, whoa. >> whoa, that's too much. >> settle down. >> sorry. this is my first black panel, guys. i'm really exied. really nice to be here. >> jon: thank you, guys. >> jon: welcome back. as you know, tonight's presidential debate wasn't the only high-profile verbal dust-up scheduled the take place this week. that's right. i'm talking about the rumble in the air conditioned auditorium. did that reverb at
, jon. we're done rapping and jamming. >> it's all good. >> jon: all right. hey, i think it's informative when we can discuss these things with panel of people directly affected by them. how do you think people will be seen by people who read the drudge report? >> i don't know, run it through the old drudgey cam. >> jon: right, the lens we filter all their information through. can you cue that up. >> we're in your front yard and we're still mad about slavery....
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Oct 15, 2012
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jon: thank you, sir. we worked on that for almost an hour. >> especially the obama afterwards. you had me on the floor on that one. >> jon: thank you, sir. i imagine he's been on there as well, recently. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. he better get up in a hurry. >> jon: you have to get up. let me get rid of the business first. this oracle, what is this a home test, hiv? you're endorsing this? >> yes, because it's important when you think about the hiv and aids fight today, we want to test more people, and so a lot of times, people then want to go to a doctor or to an hiv-aids clinic to get an hiv-aids test. now they've made it possible so you can do it in your own home. >> jon: an in-home. >> in-home displ and it's scientifically sound? >> yes, because doctors were already using this. now it's available to the public. >> jon: there's a lot of, obviously, rivalries in your business. are you worried larry bird will now come out with-- ( laughter ) hiv test, and we will try and blow your test out of the water? >> kno
jon: thank you, sir. we worked on that for almost an hour. >> especially the obama afterwards. you had me on the floor on that one. >> jon: thank you, sir. i imagine he's been on there as well, recently. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. he better get up in a hurry. >> jon: you have to get up. let me get rid of the business first. this oracle, what is this a home test, hiv? you're endorsing this? >> yes, because it's important when you think about the hiv and aids fight today,...
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Oct 25, 2012
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. >> jon: school nurse. >> let's do it. [laughter] >> jon: you'd like the job? >> yes. >> jon: do you have a professional pupil services license. >> i do not. >> jon: issued by the ohio licensing boardment >> i do not. >> jon: what experience do you have in this field? >> i've stabilized guys with a wound in his chest, replenished fluids, breathed for him for 37 minutes until we could get a blackhawk helicopter to get him to the next echelon of care. [cheering and applause] >> jon: let me ask you a question. are you familiar with kickball? [laughter] in the job that i'm asking of you, you will be required to deal with bruising. were there tummy aches were you were? >> we had tummy aches in iraq. >> jon: so you are not in any way licensed or qualified to work as a school nurse? >> that's correct. the only certification i have is an emt basic. >> jon: now, but you clearly both have had the experience and the training far above and beyond what any of these jobs would require and also seem to have, and i recognize this before in people and i don't necessarily recogn
. >> jon: school nurse. >> let's do it. [laughter] >> jon: you'd like the job? >> yes. >> jon: do you have a professional pupil services license. >> i do not. >> jon: issued by the ohio licensing boardment >> i do not. >> jon: what experience do you have in this field? >> i've stabilized guys with a wound in his chest, replenished fluids, breathed for him for 37 minutes until we could get a blackhawk helicopter to get him to the next...
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Oct 18, 2012
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my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight filmmaker eugene jarecki. the new movie about the war on drugs. for the many wars america is currently fighting, the along with the war on christmas, war on women and there's one more -- it will come to me. [ laughter ] afghanistan, i think, i don't know. christmas is the big one. obviously tonight was the second presidential debate which i totally watched. [ laughter ] and it's not taking place unti
my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight filmmaker eugene jarecki. the new movie about the war on drugs. for the many wars america is currently fighting, the along with the war on christmas, war on women and there's one more -- it will come to me. [ laughter ] afghanistan, i think, i don't know. christmas is the big one. obviously tonight was the second presidential debate which i totally watched. [ laughter ] and it's not taking place unti
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> jon: welcome to the daily show. i am jon stewart. we have one for you tonight. joining us for the first time, the governator, arnold schwarzenegger will join us on the program. i wonder what that might have sounded light, it might have gone a little something like this. >> taxi? >> i have zero to work on that impression. >> this is the first presidential debate is wednesday, biggest day of the whole year, for editors of podiums magazine. boy. a buying make or break moment for both campaigns and they are going all out preparing. >> president obama and governor mitt romney are preparing for wednesday's debate on in denver. >> msnbc obama's leaving on sunday for two or three days of debate camp. >> oh, debate camp! >> oh i remember going to debate camp, i remember like no sports, a bitter rival, camp normal malfun. >> let's see if i remember the debate camp stopping if i can. ♪ >> on the shores of lake rhetoric, we practiced logical consistency. will beat your ad hominem attacks on false tautologies. and logical fals
> jon: welcome to the daily show. i am jon stewart. we have one for you tonight. joining us for the first time, the governator, arnold schwarzenegger will join us on the program. i wonder what that might have sounded light, it might have gone a little something like this. >> taxi? >> i have zero to work on that impression. >> this is the first presidential debate is wednesday, biggest day of the whole year, for editors of podiums magazine. boy. a buying make or break moment...
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. whoa, we got a show for you, joining us from the new york knicker bockers basketball club mr. amare stoudemire will be joining us. we will trade notes on how each of us celebrated yom kippur. now, obviously you have heard about the tensions in syria, iran, throughout the mideast. but there is a battle brewing much closer to home. >> tonight the food fight sweeping school cafeterias nationwide. >> students who say healthy lunches now mandated under federal guidelines are leaving them hungry. >> jon: news flash! extra extra, children think school lunches suck. (laughter) we now go out to our own captain obvious who has been following this story since schools began serving lunch. (laughter) all right, what's the problem? >> smaller portions, fewer calories, less meat and cheese, and more fruits and vegetables. >> some kids are complaining that their lunch doesn't fill them up. >> the new rules limit elementary schoolers to 650-- 650 call reerx 700 calories for middle schoolers and 850 fo
(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. whoa, we got a show for you, joining us from the new york knicker bockers basketball club mr. amare stoudemire will be joining us. we will trade notes on how each of us celebrated yom kippur. now, obviously you have heard about the tensions in syria, iran, throughout the mideast. but there is a battle brewing much closer to home. >> tonight the food fight sweeping school cafeterias nationwide. >>...
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Oct 19, 2012
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my name is jon stewart. we're going to have a nice one for you tonight. from "the new york times" 538 block, statistician all-star nate silver will be joining us on the show. [cheering and applause] and then tomorrow night it's president barack obama. but still... [laughter] these people get to... [cheering and applause]
my name is jon stewart. we're going to have a nice one for you tonight. from "the new york times" 538 block, statistician all-star nate silver will be joining us on the show. [cheering and applause] and then tomorrow night it's president barack obama. but still... [laughter] these people get to... [cheering and applause]